As much as I want to grow up and be a nerd, another thing that I would like to be is an inventor. Just think how fun it would be. That’s one of those jobs that doesn’t really feel like a job. Plus you can show up in your pajamas and no one can say anything about it. I mean, shit, you could not shower for a couple days and no one could say anything.

Anyways, I compiled a list of things that I would like to invent someday.


  1. time machine: Embarrassing memory that you want to erase? Want to kick a former lover in the nads? Relive the good times? All this would be possible if I could someone figure out how to build a time machine. I am prolly going to have to learn some physics and stuff, but I think I could wing it. I mean, I understand how when I peg Jigglypuff with items in Super Smash Bros that has to do with mechanics and trajectories. And I have a feeling there is going to be some ridiculous thing that you need for a time machine like instant chocolate pudding or meatloaf.

  2. gadget that punches people when they are bring rude, interrupt a conversation, or be a bitch needlessly/over dramatic over something ridiculous:


  3. A printer that would print shit that you buy off the interwebz: If you are like me and have absolutely no patience, this would be awesome. I hate waiting for stuff that I buy online. It’s probably one of the most annoying things ever. But with this invention, a hot five minutes and BAM, a copy of my latest order is there. Video games, food, clothes, etc. You know how nice it would be when you are drunk off your ass and all you have to do is print out a pizza? That’s what I thought.

  4. virtual reality: With this, I could live out any fantasy I wanted. Being ridiculously good looking. Actually being good at swimming. Having the Steelers win the Super Bowl each year. No such thing as Peyton Manning. I have a hot husband. Exercising makes you fat and video games make you skinny. But that’s just my virtual reality. Yours could be like whatever you wanted. Hell, you could make it so rains chocolate chips and people talk out of their eyes if you want. Okay, second part is freaking weird, but you get what I’m saying.
  5. So basically I need to get more learnding done this semester so I can become an evil super genius and make all this stuff.


About panthersofamerica

I am a crazed 26 year old who is mentally 7 years old. I love the internetz and making people laugh, so what's better than having a blog full of stuff that makes people laugh? Nothing, that's what I tell you.
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