things I say in foreign languages instead of english

I have noticed recently that for some words, I am either too bored, lazy, or secretive to say the english word and use another.

A common example would be the use of the word zenci. Shit, I’ve been doing that since freshman year.

A lot of words I draw from are from spanish. Great thing is that I took essentially five years of the language and don’t remember shit. And all the stuff I actually remember is completely stupid/useless. Like:

  • NUMERO *insert number here but its usually UNO*
  • ME GUSTA
  • CUAL ES LA FECHA DE HOY?!
  • QUE HORA ES?!
  • PANTALONES
  • DONDE ESTA

And thing is that these words tend to be longer than their english counterparts, yet I still continue to use them instead of the english. Another language that I steal shit from is le french.

Besides being smelly, the french have a fun language. They get to put le in front everything. Le book. Le cat. Le number one with no tomato and onions and side of fries and dr. pepper. Le crap I forgot my wallet.

I used to put le in front of everything. Like, I don’t le want to le swim this damn le practice. Le swimming is le devil of le everything. Or you are a le douchebag. Except now it would be yinz quit actin like le jagoff.

…i might have to use that one day.

The next item on this shit list is Croatian. I haven’t been able to fully use this language up to its potential, but it will eventually get there.

It’s really fun to say oprostite because it looks like prostitute but its not. It means like sorry or excuse me, which is weird because I don’t see prostitutes being like overly polite. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I bet there are some overly polite prostitutes but I just don’t seem them being like that as a whole?

What’s fun is to look up swear words in other languages then keep on saying them to people. Like there this one tool that I knew once that I kept calling a srajne…or was it malaka? I don’t remember. But anyway, they got soooo pissed and were like “whinewhinewhine quit calling me that”, and then I was like “look at google translate jagoff”. Then they said, “quit saying jagoff”. And then I think I said “look that up on google too malaka/sranje”. Then it kinda repeated until I got annoyed and walked away. I think I imagined Jamie-o tackling the shit of the person during the conversation. Or was I thinking about pizza? I don’t remember.

Learning new languages makes you make new friends and then pisses other people off because they can’t understand what the fuck you are talking about. That why you need to visit the motherland and annoy those people with your opinions and most likely horrible speaking skills. Well unless you are from there, then you wouldn’t suck at it. Or you are good at it.

So now its time for be to go back and watch more episodes of Strong Bad emails. It’s kind of bad that I have been reading this post in his voice the entire time. I think I’ve been watching it too much. And eating too much candy too.

Oh well.

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About panthersofamerica

I am a crazed 25 year old who is mentally 7 years old. I love the internetz and making people laugh, so what's better than having a blog full of stuff that makes people laugh? Nothing, that's what I tell you.
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