So I was writing this sacrilegious blog post about bible verses but I’ll pull that one out for later times. Right now I am going to tell you about jagoffs.
What is a jagoff, one may ask?
According to the beloved urban dictionary,
“Pittsburgh slang for anyone irritating, out of line, not in love with the Steelers or not drinking Iron City on a regular basis. It is also Pittsburghese slang for asshole.”
If you still are like, what the hell are you talking about, I will use it in a sentence.
“Colts fans are jagoffs.”
So recently I feel like there have been a lot people that have been acting like jagoffs. Which they should not because its going to be the holiday season. And that means you have to be nice since its the holiday. I wish Santa was real because then people would have to be nice because if they didn’t Santa would be like “awww hell nah you ain’t getting shit from me this year. yinz were bein a jagoff” And yes he would talk like he was from Pittsburgh too.
SIDE NOTE TIME. Which reminds me, I love the holiday season because of the christmas music. Especially the songs “Oh Come Ye Faithful” and “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”. Mainly because you can change the “Ye” in both songs to “Yinz” and then change the words so it’s about pittsburgh and sliberty. It’s great.
Okay, back to the main point about people being jagoffs. Quit actin’ like one. I don’t want to deal with your shit. Last time I checked I haven’t done anything wrong. I’m like the innocent kid in that one movie. The one with the cat that talks and the mice eating the cheese. OR MATILDA. Everyone is mean to her since they are jagoffs and they are jealous since she’s magic. But she shows them up with her magic. Maybe I should learn magic.
Person: *ostracizing rachelle*
Rachelle: *pulls some magicalness out of her ass*
Person: *disappears/is somehow messed up?*
Yeah, so the moral of the story is that people need to stop being jagoffs because it makes me mad. And I don’t like being mad. You know, I wouldn’t swear so much if people didn’t piss me off. So if people would stop being jagoffs I wouldn’t swear as much and I wouldn’t be mad all the time.