Tip 1: Always play stupid. ALWAYS. It can save your ass in so many ways possible, its not even funny.
Person: Yeah didn’t you know?
Rachelle: What? Who is this again. Explain this whole new situation that I swear I have never heard before in my life. (hahaha no its not asshole, i’ve known for like a month)
Person: Why are you smirking?
Rachelle: I’m drunk apparently.
Person: *looks utterly confused*
Tip 2: When haters gon hate, hate back. But do it the most miniscule ways possible. For example, when you hate someone, leave little notes in their room with incoherent writing that looks like you say “you are a evil bitch” but could be misconstrued to “you have a nice batch”. Also doing venomous and vindictive things like pouring coke on their car so it eats the paint off or talking shit about them also works too.
Tip 3: If all else fails, get wasted. At a lame social function with booze? Your friends ditch you to be with their latest boos of the night? That awkward third wheel? Then my friend it is time to get so slobbering drunk that next morning you don’t remember what the hell happened. So you called some guy a jag off and somehow created a bar brawl. Then told everyone they needed to get juvenile diabetes and die, but there’s always damage control. James Harrison did it after he said that he wouldn’t piss on Roger Goodell if he was on fire to extinguish the flames. And now they are kinda fine and dandy?
Tip 4: Change your personality. You have different friends. BE DIFFERENT PEOPLE. It’s like acting, but waaaaay more fun. Like one of those people with multiple personality disorder. So for me it would be like gangsta Rachelle, Rachel who acts like she’s 5 and on a sugar rush, normal focused Rachel, and i’m in a bad fucking mood leave me the fuck alone Rachel. Gangsta Rachelle would obviously hang out with gangstas, duh. Rachel who acts like she’s 5 would hang out with other 5 year olds. Focused Rachel would hang out with her normal wolf pack. And emo Rachel hangs out with other emos. Or she stays by herself. Writing emo poetry about emo stuff? THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS THAT YOU CAN BE DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Tip 5: Make sure everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, knows your opinion about everything. For example:
Person 1: Yeah I skipped Microeconomics today.
Me: I HATE THAT CLASS.
Person 1: Then I ate a ham sandwich for lunch.
Me: I HATE HAM.
Person 1: Then I went to swim practice.
Me: GOD I HATE SWIMMING ITS SO DUMB.
Person 1: Is there anything you don’t hate?
Me: No but I saw this really funny youtube video. It was about a cat climbing this tree.
Person 1: I hate cats.
Me: WELL YOU’RE A SLUT.