stephenie meyer and her ability to creep me out

I am bizarre. You all should know that by now. I mean, shit, I am like twenty years old and all I talk about is pokemon, the internet, video games. And I think the stupidest shit is hilarious.

Okay. Well you thought I was weird. Try reading the Twilight series. Now that shit is fucked up. I read the first two books and then I was sufficiently creeped out to not read the rest of them.

For example, someone who spoiled the book for me told me that apparently Jacob marks Bella and Edward’s kid to be his mate. Last time I checked, Jacob is like 17 or 18 during these books. When that kid is his age, he’s going to be 34 or 35. So basically he is going to be about 20 years older than his wife or whatever.

HEY. THE MIDDLE AGES CALLED AND THEY WANT THEIR NASTY MARRIAGE PRACTICES BACK. Yeah that might have been cool back then, but now in 2011 in Americaland that’s called STATUTORY RAPE (well I am thinking they’ll meet before she’s 16 because I’m assuming the guys going to be a little..you know…after 16 years). And technically he’s old enough to be her Dad which is even more grosssssssss.

And not to mention how psychotic Bella is. Jesus, the girl is literally at Edward’s side 24/7. Don’t you need, you know, alone time? Or even time with your friends? (she doesn’t really have friends, so never mind that.) And all she thinks about is him. Edward this, Edward that. Dude you need to think about some other things. It’s like he brainwashed her or some shit.

And then add all of the sparkly shit amongst other things. It’s basically like bad fan fiction. Not that I would know what fan fiction is…

Either way, good job Stephenie. You managed to creep out one of the most bizarre people in the world. And that’s saying something.

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About panthersofamerica

I am a crazed 25 year old who is mentally 7 years old. I love the internetz and making people laugh, so what's better than having a blog full of stuff that makes people laugh? Nothing, that's what I tell you.
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